No. 1, 2 & 3 – Ode to Carol & Don

With great glee. Dirtying my hands, to clean my Spirit.

Fort Royal Hill, Worcester, looking across to the Malvern Hills, The Queens Water, in before times.

Worcester has a rich history, not least the Civil War, and, my mother has lived within hundreds of yards of this battle site for 36years, myself 15+ in multiple spells.

My mothers house existed some 200years before the Final Battle of The Civil War (in 1651), yards away, had become a point of profound historical significance.

This worthless being. This Festival week, wishes to give Gold, to this Earth (Gifting).

So, above is a picture of a piece of Orgonite, 24Carat at top, 12Carat White Centre, 24Carat bottom, with a good quality Quartz set inside this 50/50 Organic/Inorganic offering. Picture Taken from mothers back yard.

Yesterday, the day before the Jubilee Beacon was (tonight) lit, on Fort Royal Hill (Peak of the Battle Site), myself and daughters went to the Park, to all play (in our own ways!!!).

Fort Royal Hill, looking towards the Cathedral, it is a lovely place my Mother settled us.

So, as the girls played, Daddy made quiet and felt where best to Gift this Gold back to the Earth.

After 10minutes of play, the girls had burnt enough excitement off to settle, so we then held hands in a circle, said a Prayer asking God to receive this Gift of Material back to your Earth, so you may bless the Earth with your Love (very private words of will to this effect).

With that, the third (direct to earth), of 108, is given from us, petty humans, to you Gods Spirits of the Earth.

John has gifted two, to two yew trees which are amongst the oldest trees in the World, being the first two, if memory is serving me! Once this piece was gifted, walked back to my Mothers and my sister informed me that there is a ”Beacon” being lit there, as one of 130 sites for the Platinum Jubilee the next evening (Auspicious).

This is later the following day, at Sunset Beacons were lit. Just yards from our Families gift to Worcester.

Whilst Queen Elizabeth accepted yet more jewels, stolen from their rightful owners, this Spirit was burying Materialism under a Beacon, to purify the energies excessive materialism disturbs.

Subjective, the weather felt fresher to me after this. The forecast is now better, than it was.

September 3rd 1651 Cromwells Fort Royal Vantage Point. New Model Army Vs Royalists

Fort Royal and the Eastern Battle

While the forces were engaged South of the city, Charles, from his vantage point on top of Worcester cathedral’s tower, realised that an opportunity existed to attack the now-exposed eastern flank of the Parliamentary army. As the defenders on the Western side of the city retreated in good order into the city, Charles ordered two sorties to attack the Parliamentary forces east of the city. The north-eastern sortie through St. Martin’s Gate was commanded by the Duke of Hamilton and attacked the Parliamentary lines at Perry Wood. The south-eastern one, through Sidbury Gate, was led by Charles II and attacked Red Hill. Cromwell, seeing the difficulty that his east flank was under, rushed back over the Severn pontoon bridge with three brigades of troops to reinforce the flank.

Plaque at Fort Royal

Although they were pushed back, the Parliamentarians were too numerous and experienced to be defeated by such a move. For an hour, the Parliamentarians retreated before the unexpected attack. However, following their reinforcement by Cromwell’s three brigades, they reversed the situation and drove the Royalists back toward the city. The Royalist retreat turned into a rout in which Parliamentarian and Royalist forces intermingled and skirmished up to and into the city. The Royalist position became untenable when the Essex militia stormed and captured Fort Royal and turned the Royalist guns to fire on Worcester.

Meanwhile, the Royalist cavalry under the command of David Leslie that was gathered on Pitchcroft Meadow on the northern side of the city, did not receive orders to aid the sorties and Leslie chose not to do so under his own initiative. The non-participation of these troops remains something of an enigma and did the Royalist Army no favours.

Fort Royal Park today, overlooking the Commandery and the Cathedral

Returning to the city, legend has it that Charles II used an overturned ammunition cart to climb over Sudbury Gate, removed his armour and found a fresh horse; he attempted to rally his troops, but was unable to do so. A desperate Royalist cavalry charge down Sidbury Street and High Street, led by the Earl of Cleveland and Major Careless amongst others, allowed King Charles to escape along Friar Street to his lodgings and then leave by St. Martin’s Gate to the North and meet with some sixty of his officers. (Source = The Battle Of Worcester)

Getting the Spirits on side, may be a wise choice in life?

It was Auspicious Coincidence, that this was compelled to happen, the day before the Beacon, it was not known that the Beacon was happening, until immediately after the Gold was Buried there… timing!

In the days following this, another piece was gifted between the Commandery and the Cathedral.

What are you soo scared of?

As a 23 year old young man (old boy, felt truly), destiny took me to work in the home of the dying destitute. On the way to Thailand, we were in Calcutta, and, was really struck, by the way some volunteers described the work, so a month later, returned to volunteer.

The type of experience, that cannot be explained.

Let Every Action Of Mine. Be Something Beautiful To God.

Mother Teresa (from picture in hall)

After just days, all the fear was gone, and, yet more, though I couldn’t articulate it, and still can’t. In that hall I got the vaguest exposure to Samadhi.

This spirit was such. That joy was the feeling into Death, for many amongst them. Nothing like I had envisaged.

So, the main point, during this time, of no fear, no hope for them, no expectation of experience… lies the spirit of the godhead, though as a young man I was Atheist, still now have no bondage to Religion or thought school, but feel much differently after decades of reflection.

So, intoxicated by this unexpected elation, one day was free from duty, so offered Coconut Oil Massages, one lovely spirited man, very slim, was getting a nice shoulder and back rub, when the sister came over, ”No gloves, no gloves” in a hurried and stressed voice.

Again, she repeats, ”No gloves? This man has AIDS, is dying of AIDS, why are you not wearing gloves?” Very concerned.

Just shrugged. Was worried about the stress her tone was creating, nothing more.

Back then, had no travel or medical insurance, was alone in Calcutta, barely a man, no luggage as stolen 7months before, was free and almost completely fearless…

Night time, would wander streets, or relax, listening to this Album… paradox.

So, I am supposed to fear this Virus? This War? These Demons projecting louder and louder into everyones lives (Those bonded to media).

You are better than that? Society, you truly are.

Anyway, back to the story, one day, my bravery was challenged to the extreme….After a few weeks there, a sister comes to me and says ”you are a kind one, can you help?” Gushing at her praise, felt I could handle anything. ”Of course”, I confidently reply.

So, we walk around into the edge of the womens hall, as that day the mens was being disinfected, the sister says ”can you please hold his penis, while I clean around?”. This alone was shocking, the poor man had a Tumour and his testicle was Grapefruit sized, seeping and really difficult to see. So, I look at the man, show my kindest eyes, then take hold. The sister was quick and thorough, cleaning, applying banages, showing compassion by vocally supporting the man.

As we did this, sisters and female volunteers were passing, as it was right in the meeting point of the two halls, eyes being transfixed and trying not to look but unable to look away, or, hide shock.

Really enjoyed buying a Chi with destitutee in the early evenings, watching the kids, still kids, free… such majesty in the destitute. This was a postcard sent home.

Once complete, my Ego was massive, then the sister turned to me and said ”you have been great, thank you, tomorrow we are cutting it out, can you help?”.

Now, in a moment, the humbler ego was back, my internal dialogue went ”Oh shit, Rich, this is beyond you, they have no Surgeon, just a trainee Doctor from Japan, shit, shit, shit, you can’t say no, but, but”.

Then after a second, it came to me ”Oh, tomorrow is Thursday, that is Volunteers day off, so I won’t be here, sorry”.

The sister replied it was a shame, but she would find someone else to help her. My sense of readiness to face anything took a hit.

Left the Sister, a trembling wreck!

There was one man, who scream cried, his whole 2 days there, having brought him in, cleaned and showered him, his body was like he had collapsed in a pool, or had poured over him, acid, as his body had horrific wounds. This did not bring the ’fear’ like previously described, but, took a lot of reflection on whether it was OK to be relieved he died 45-48 hours later, as his cries filled the room with living despair, most had been graced with a gentle passage through, compared to this poor soul, he was literally tortured to death.

This was The Mother, in around 1995, would never have asked for a picture (but have one a friend sent me later, I never requested, she looks poorly, but I treasure it). No eyes to Camera,

So, laced amongst the bravery, I was too much of a self centred wimp, to help cut a mans hugely overgrown testicle out! It was magical learning ground there, and, the care, those passing, beautiful.

It is only now, that it feels right to share some of these experiences.

That song, is a thing of utter poetic beauty, performed perfectly by Cobain

Being immersed. But, still a bit of a wimp! (cutting a mans ball off, probably leading to his death, was a step beyond my capacity back then, tough moment, but such a growth experience, pardon the unintended pun).

Those sisters, the deepest blessings, forever.

Though the speech towards children, when doing a day as a Teaching assistant, to see what that was like, not good, way too harsh, didn’t return, was deeply upset, they were from such poverty, yet soo beautifully dressed, truly inspiring and a touching experience – Singing 5 Little Ducks made my heart gush with joy.

However, there was a harshness to the tone, that was beyond my limits, it was talked about, the Head Sister said ”This is a harsh world, they need to be ready for it”, my feeling was the opposite, that they should receive only kind, loving nurture, so that is what they mostly fill, bond, associate with from their very early schooling?

How can you ignore a message, so pure, so strong? Here they are, this is my cause. Love. Only eyes to Camera, you want to Idolise her? Then only see her truly with ”The Message”.

The whole of Mother Teresa’s life and labor bore witness to the joy of loving, the greatness and dignity of every human person, the value of little things done faithfully and with love, and the surpassing worth of friendship with God.”

Much more fitting, had such Spirit. What a human. Celebrating the purity of work, Saint at work.

Another Job tried, but once, was being a Rickshaw runner, one evening, was wandering and came across 4 runners in a square just off Chowringhee, so thought I’d like to try that.

Gestured, could I pay him 4-5 Rupees to run him around the square, he seemed to understand, then turned to the other runners and chatted, each tittering at various stages if their little chat, the Runner turned back to me and dropped his head to the right, grinning.

So, moving to the Rickshaw, between the sticks, the runner steps aside, moves next to his friends. ”Naaaaa” pointing at him to get on. The runner again turns and chats, one looking out, looking me up and down, laughs, then he gets on.

Excited I pull off, like a tortoise! That is not light, and, difficult to get moving (guess normally you get shown!), so, yet again my Masculine Ego is momentarily shaken, but once moving, it was brilliant!

Walked to first turn, him grinning, his friends looking at me like I am both funny and insane! Then ran, this was hard, to control the handles over bumps, the balance, much respect to these people (who it seemed were treated like dirt, in the tone most took with them).

As I pulled his Rickshaw up, he got off, we shared a smile and I thanked him. His friends still smirking, at the event, my poor running, me! Lovely evening will never forget (maybe it was after Testicle day, to release my fear emotions!!!).

Members of the Missionaries of Charity, wearing protective face shields, distribute free snacks and tea to the poor in Kolkata, India, Aug. 26, 2020, during the COVID-19 pandemic. They distributed the food and tea after offering prayers to mark the 110th birthday of St. Teresa of Kolkata, founder of the Missionaries of Charity. (CNS photo/Rupak De Chowdhuri, Reuters)

Such complex life lessons. Look what life has done? Sisters brave enough to offer kindness in the most challenging conditions, forced by their own fear, or, the projected media fear, to cover themselves in masks, visors, gloves… The open face of ”The Masters Of War” imposing it’s will over anybody it can.

Vedder ”You put a drug in my hand” aptly changed from Dylans Gun…
Similarly, destiny had me taking physical beatings (70–80 Assaults), whilst forced to wear a mask, often visor. This was my last assault, he needed taking to ground and dragging outside by his T-Shirt, 3Years 3Months 3Weeks 3Days (and change) in Level 3 Challenging Behaviour, ends December 2021
Laughing as taken, as this aged flesh, would now return on day off, in Kalighat, to help remove the Testicle! After above attack, told boss ”it’s fine, he didn’t even get me”, soo I didn’t even feel those injuries happen, left not a mark on him, the adrenaline and seeing fear as water, you see?
Though this old guy has very quick reflexes, but, the biting and spitting was tough to take.
Excellent yellowing, once healing underway, this is Macrophage Activity, Budwig knew, so now my family will.

Once you experience, the reality of your fears, like mine above (there was more, it was vicious, but full moon?), you realise, they were never worth troubling your inner calm over. The lovely guy who did this (many times) to me, was shown love, care, understanding and forgiveness, straight after he had calmed enough not to attack again!

Like Kalighat, being attacked you can be nowhere but the present.

On the day Vaccine Mandates became enforced, two colleagues were forced from their jobs, that day I resigned from a job and client I loved, in solidarity, as I could not work somewhere staff were forced to take ”Test” medicine they would otherwise not. Goodbye, masters of war.

This fearless spirit was whispered to me, from within Kalighat, Home Of The Pure Heart (Nirmal Hriday). You all have this Spirit, know it these days.

Look at the sheer, forceful, powerful message in the picture, using ”Material” her image, to simply point… noticed this is the only time she looks at Camera, no Idolatry, only Gods Message of Love and Compassion.
Back home, in the Summer of ‘95, telling stories and zoning dear friend out, regaining some weight! Natural Cobain look, Keralan and Sri Lankan sun not bleech! This me has gone…

What is insurmountable?

Just about the most inspiring film, you may be blessed to watch, on soo many levels


Tommy Caldwell, had lost a key climbing finger, how could he become better?
They thought nobody could climb this face, with 10 fingers, nobody ever had…
Not much space for wearing the bondages of others, up there…
Kevin Jorgeson ”Nothing left to do, but, just take a couple of deep breaths”.
Given to fly… This was his dream, his vision, his dedication manifesting a new reality of ”Possibility for others”, Tommy knew he could fly.
Perseverance, endurance, belief, support, anything is possible.

Tommy Caldwell ”We are capable of soo much more, than we can ever imagine”.

Life took a key tool away, oh well, I’ve got 9 more… being more, than thought possible, by others. He didn’t form bondage to those doubting thoughts.

The Priest’s Of The Pistes.

God, delivered Caldwell his wings, cultural immortality, but, he gave them up, until Jorgeson found his too…
When the mind can fly, and the flight is from the heart… impossible becomes possible.

Thousands of years, and, three days

In the past week, I made some Orgonite, for the first time with the intention of being for my daughters.

It was beautiful, not as good qi as some, but soo proud was I…

2days later, take it to Sauna, to meditate, test it out…

Time slowed, mid-fumbling distraction, as it tumbled to the hard poolside floor.


Kung Fu Panda, Arya and Amber enjoy, why shouldn’t they?.

Drop it, smash it, this took a whole day to make (along with a couple of others), but that day, at the Sauna I inspired, just a little, two women who were dry in their hopes, and I was able to laugh about it, after a moments utter anguish, there was no internal tightening as it‘s only a thing, the event was immediately transmuted into more good for us, because the sadness did not stick.

The second lady, needed positive direction, so my mind was trawling ways to explain her greatness, that she was selectively choosing to caste as her foe. As my mind focused on this, I got up forgetting the piece on my lap, which led to it smashing, but it was worth smashing, to help this lady, of course.

Kids, when showing them and apologising, said “Oh well, it still looks kind of cool”, bless them, and it does, you can touch its insides now. Maybe there was a message for me here as well, to keep these safer and more hidden? But, the inspiration it seemed to induce, forces me to post and risk them being public.

This is the path, to know the reason and impermanent nature of all things. The second women, showed the piece and explained it had just been made for my daughter, she was really upset in that moment, then as I laughed it off, it showed her as well, the message that every single moment is a chance for teaching/learning, reacting better next time.

In years before, this would have really upset me, if my kids did it, it would have upset me, and, I would have struggled not to chastise them, fuel the bondages.

Making this stuff, has given me such challenge with a desire to create perfection, all it can be is a pretty big deal, that previously has eaten away my merit, when inevitably they are not, that this was my first ever pieces for my daughters, and, both are just not good enough feeling, yet it caused little stickiness to the loss, was a growthful experience, one which did not upset my delicate autonomic balance, lead to any sorrow cascade.

Such a set of messages, and learnings, from a simple accident. It created a profound sense of joy, the day was very special, as soo many are lately.

These moments are happening around all of us, right now, it’s our challenge not to form bondage. The experiences for most all, are very harsh and abrasive right now, but you are fully equip to handle anything, having held my first daughter, dead, for the first time, I know this, now able to celebrate her bravery in teaching us, my dear first child Isla.

Isla, was perfect. She taught us how to survive, then, flourish with Arya. She needed no lesson herself.

Rewritten, as accidentally deleted original. Better worded, perhaps.

May the 4th be with you

As a young boy in 1978, Star Wars : A New Hope lit the magical imaginings of myself, and, millions of others.

After the first film, my parents signed me up to the ”Star Wars Official Fan Club”, it was not obsessive, but seekers know, this is quite the story, in truth I mostly just wanted the Millennium Falcon toy, this subscription was likely much cheaper!

So, fast forward, 25years or so, and we go to see Dave Gorman, a comedian giving his ”Googlewhack Adventure” show. This is where he searched for a term with only 1 result on Google, and he adventured from this… most enjoyable show.

After this show I reflected that my online presence was nothing, had never been drawn to social media, as I knew it would stimulate, envy, jealousy, upset, hurt.

Of Facebook my feelings were “a data mining platform of (often) delusional self projections, is not for you”

So, one day soon after searching myself, no Googlewhack for this name (then on to family name etc) online, found that my family are an Avian Species from Star Wars! This led me to ponder, did they create random characters from ”Fan Club Members”? or, was it weird coincidence?

My people, Nom Anor, have a proverb about counting glitterflies when all one has is maggots.” ―Vergere to Nom Anor.

The Fosh were a sentient avian species from an unknown world, possibly hailing from the Corporate Sector.

Today, it is noticed the Gold Gemstone laden Egg (Vergere adorns his left wrist, to flick into palm and meditate, of course), and Amber beads (my other wonder filled daughter is named Amber). There was Amber used in the recent devices (shown below), my draw has been to make Egg shaped chi (the force) devices…

These ”prototypes” were from desire to create Egg shaped pieces, from an Avian Jedi Family lineage (in someones world). Even more surreal, had messaged my long time chi cohort in the UK, telling him ”Forget Feberge Eggs, Fosh Eggs!” The lack of vessel to shape the egg, is why these were not, Auspicious.

Around a year or two, before ”A New Hope” was released, at school I had taken to flying! This was not truly flying, or was it??? Reality is but an Abstract Concept, oh how my Psychology Lecturer used to love that term, he beamed chi every time he had the opportunity to relay it.

After lunch, some days, when the skies were blue and clouds rolled serenly, I found that you could lay on the edge of the playing field, where the hedges were planted they were raised, to create an ample cushion. After lunch, of likely too many sugars, to stifle the oxygen temporarily perhaps (as otherwise I would have been charging about, more like Monkey than the Tripitaka feel this created), I would lay on this verge and first gaze, then take flight amongst the heavens.

Soo many times, I tried calling my cloud, this was not the method! Although, the fast swirling of breath chi, into a counter clockwise spin, may have some merit? Worked for Monkey, after all.

After doing this a few days, another child said ”what are you doing?” as I may have appeared strange, feet hanging out the hedge! Once I told the boy ”I’m flying amongst the clouds”, he two lay next to me and began the same…

The next school day, was informed at Lunch ”Laying in the hedge is banned”.

Too young, to challenge Mrs Anderson?

As a young boy, both arms were fractured, at 5 and then 6, from jumping from climbing frames beyond my capabilities. At about 7 I recall jumping from my parents Bungalow flat roof, with a bin bag in each hand, that I was sure would create two balloons to gentle my fall, it did not and taught me a valuable lesson on this bodies fallibilities, to achieve my dreams.

By 19, most weeks I found another form of flight, alongside this man and his band, several times, plus countless others, stage diving, teacher couldn’t stifle my, nor Vedders, will to fly.

Was going to type, Vedder was less fearful, or more Monkey, than me. Then reflected, at this young age I would somersault from Bridges or high rock faces, so we were kin, seeking flight, both frequenting the margins before lunacy.

The Egg – No corners, continuous flow.

“Be water, my friend”

Bless these times.